SEASON 2015
A Season of missed catches and run outs, cheap wickets and bowling on the wild side!
A Season of many matches and many (should have won that) but didn't!
Lets forget but never forgive ( Walnuts new Motto ). 21 Players of all creeds from many walks of life were used and abused by US.
Many former friendships were tested to the limit last summer. Some HITS were ordered but alas were never acted on!
We finished with 21 bodies of different lengths and a LEG!
We played in ( I use the term played in jest ) approx 20 games and were doing well in each until the first ball was bowled!!
Our main problem seems to be Hari Kari when we take to the pitch. Our secondary problem is poor eyesight and not enough
hands! If we can eliminate either one of these for 2016 Victory beckons!
The GOOD news ( yes there is some ). George(The Leg) is available this year and has agreed verbally to perhaps use both legs
and thus keep the opposition run rate down. Spinner AKA The Crecher says his wrist has recovered so promises to run at both ends.
Warm weather training which was promised in Paddy the Bulge's kitchen has had to be deferred as the toaster is malfunctioning.
Finally. I wish you all well for the coming season 2016 and we will indeed " Pack up our troubles in our old kit bag".
Stumpy
SEASON 2009 ( CHINESE YEAR OF THE DYATINKYSAURUS )
Updates First:
The Honourable Member for Bushy Park South gave up the Fags but sad to report has taken to sucking bull mares (Note to the D.S.P.C.A. )
The Mouse has taken to riding Walter on a daily basis to alleviate his heightened stress levels.
George (sex on fire) suffered a ligament problem after Monica ignored his excuse that he had to take off his clothes to show the au-pair how the shower worked.
Spasi broke down in training (again ) says his hip needs adjusting to counter the power of his thrust.
Diddy Devlin was lasered and now claims he can see for miles. ( Myles says he can see for himself thank you )
Graham graciously supported The Glimmer Twins in a meaningful way and without menaces.
We played 10 Matches. Won 6. Lost 4.
Arthurs's Knights - Merrion CC - Graham's Grunt's - Guinness - Garda CC - Malahide CC - Leinster CC - RTE - Merrion CC - CYM CC
We made use of the following Players:
Ian Cox (Capt) - Tom Morrissey - Cyril Crone - Philip Whelan (Creaser) - Ian Fitzmaurice - Rob Byrne - Eddie Doyle - John Donnellan - Alan Ryan - Paul Ryan - Peadar Devlin - Paddy Devlin - Eamonn Travers - Dave Coyne - David Mowlds - Sean McGinn (Stumpy)- Andrew Hussey - Liam O'Neill - George Cree - Paul Morrissey
May 6th:
Away to Arthur's Knights in Merrion.
Won by 1 run!
After a big Ship Struggle (titanic) we won. The Last ball of the Last over Spasi ran a leg Bye with Ian Fitz and we did it! Arthur gave Spasi MOM.
June 5th:
Away to Merrion CC.
Lost. They won because they had players from the sub continent who were GOOD.
Liamo got MOM.
June 12th:
Home to Grahams Grunts.
Won.
A very enjoyable game that included women of a different gender. Cyril MOM (Caught some woman short in a slip or was it he slipped on a short woman?)
June 19th:
Home to Guinness
Lost!
We managed to lose this match despite 3 max scores of 20. They won on the last over. Eddie was rather annoyed with everybody but no one in particular and stormed off without even air kissing the mouse.
June 26th:
Home to Garda CC.
Won!
Alan Ryan MOM shot off a quick-fire 21 before he was neutralised by the Garda Response Unit.
July 10th:
Away to Leinster CC.
Won. MOM The Mouse.
Very good display by me and my runners! The Mouse (Last man in to hit 4 to win the match). He was sooooo pleased.
July 30th:
Home to RTE CC
Lost.
Don't know MOM. Most of the team were buddies of Eddie!
Aug 9th:
BBQ with the Grunts.
Well done Gillian and Graham. Brilliant Day and lucky with the Weather.
Over 40 bodies turned up (plus spectators) and we had a round robin competition where everyone bowled and batted.
Philip was on WEE WEE duty, driving Needy women to Lakelands.
Monica got locked in the Gents but Karen kicked the door in and relieved her.
Graham had a knicker attack when he lost his wedding ring and blamed his
MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
The Gazebo's (tent Things) nearly blew away but luckily O'Meara had his Swiss Army Watch and took timely charge of the situation.
Mowldsy was between 2 parties (what's new) but was a willing participant whilst he was on site.
EVERYONE HAD A GREAT TIME!
Aug 14th:
Home to Merrion CC.
Won. MOM Sean (Blisters) McGinn
A very enjoyable match played with Gusto and Verve ( Albanian Twins). Our Capt. hit their Lady Fielder following a lusty blow (he hates False teeth) and she left the field of play in a stoic manner.
Aug 21st:
Home to CYM CC.
Won. MOM "Hard In" Hussey
We won and retained the POP SPARKS trophy.
We scored 148 runs ( Highest for the season). A very very enjoyable match.
That was our Season in a Walnut shell.
Hoping next year is every bit as good and the sledging louder.
Cheers
Sean
MISSED
The sun in the Heavens was beaming,
The breeze bore an odour of hay,
My flannels were spotless and gleaming,
My heart was unclouded and gay;
The ladies,all gaily apparelled,
Sat around looking on at the match,
In the tree-tops the dicky birds carolled,
All was peace -- till I bungled the catch.
My attention the magic of summer
Had lured from the game -- which was wrong.
The bee ( that inveterate hummer )
Was droning it's favourite song.
I was tenderly dreaming of Clara
( On her not a girl is a patch ),
When, ah, horror! there soared through the air a
Decidedly possible catch.
I heard in a stupor the bowler
Emit a self - satisfied " Ah "
The small boys who sat on the roller
Set up an expectant " Hurrah! "
The Batsman with grief from the wicket
Himself had begun to detach --
And I uttered a groan and turned sick. It
Was over. I'd buttered the catch.
O, ne'er, if I live to a million,
Shall I feel such a terrible pang.
From the seats in the far - off pavilion
A loud yell of ecstasy rang.
By the handful my hair ( which is auburn )
I tore with a wrench from my thatch,
And my heart was seared deep with a raw burn
At the thought that I'd foozled that catch.
Ah, the bowler's low, querulous mutter
Points loud, unforgettable scoff!
Oh, give me my driver and putter!
Henceforward my game shall be golf.
If I'm asked to play cricket hereafter,
I am wholly determined to scratch,
Life's void of all pleasure and laughter;
I bungled the easiest catch.
P.G Wodehouse
NEWS COVERAGE OF THE TERENURE WALNUT TAVERNERS TRIP TO JAMAICA FOR THE WORLD CUP 2007 AND MATCH AGAINST MELBOURNE C.C.
SPORTS JAMAICA CRICKET COVERAGE
Melbourne to host Irish club sunday.
MELBOURNE CRICKET Club will be hosting the visiting Terenure Taverners Cricket Club of Ireland in a cricket match at the club. 17 Courtney Walsh Drive. (formally Derrymore Road) on sunday at noon.
The Melbourne Invitational XI will be captained by Club President and former Jamaica West Indies fast bowler Courtney Walsh and will include former Jamaica and West Indies batting star Lawrence Rowe, former West Indies batsman Maurice Foster, former Jamaica and West Indies offspinner Nehemiah Perry, former Jamaica and West Indies batsman Robert Samuels as well as Carlton Baugh Jnr, Donovan Pagon and Xavier Marshall who have also represented Jamaica and the West Indies.
Also appearing in the match will be former Jamiacan representative Ordelmo Peters, current Jamaica left arm spin bolwers Nikita Miller and Andre Dwyer and West indies Youth rep Andre McCarthy.
The full Squad Courtney Walsh - Captain, Lawrence Rowe, Maurice Foster, Donavan Pagon, Carlton Baugh Jnr, Nikita Miller, Nehemiah Perry, Michael Bernard, Ordelmo Peters, Xavier Marshall, Andre Dwyer, Robert Samuels, Sunny Anil, Andre McCarthy, Yannick Elliot, Damion Reece, and Damian Jacobs.
By kind Courtesy of Sports Jamaica Cricket coverage 15/03/07
RETURNING TO THEIR JAMAICAN ROOTS.
by Paresh Soni
BBC World at the World Cup 2007
In a quiet corner of Kingston in Jamaica is arguably the most successful conveyor belt in cricketing history.
The 115-year-old Melbourne cricket club has produced 13 West Indies cricketers and 27 players who have represented Jamaica.
In fact it is the only such organisation in the world to unearth two men who have taken 200 or more Test wickets. Their names? Michael Holding and Courtney Walsh.
Not bad for a club that depends on the generosity of its members and friends.
" I have been a member for 53 years -as old as I am," Legendary former Windies paceman Holding told BBC sport.
"My father has been a member for many years and when I was born he registered me so this place has been a big part of my life"
"My father was a past President, my mother was a member, my sisters and my brother are now members - we're all Melbourne people basically"
A key figure in the recent history of this magnificent Jamaican institution has been Ruddy Marzouca, the club captain for 30 years.
Hailing from one of the most affluent families in the country, he erected a house beside the ground, and the club bar is named after him.
In a city which has had it's fair share of drug related problems, Marzouca is committed to taking young boys off the streets and instilling discipline in their lives.
Andre McCarthy, a talented West Indies Under-19 batsman,said: " I've played here for the last 6 years and this club has helped me in many ways. The first thing it helped me to do was become a man, they provide a lot of counselling, telling you right from wrong. It helps your lifestyle being a member here as well as improving your cricket. You have mentors constantly motivating you and my dream is to make it into the senior West Indies team"
If he does that he will follow recent Melbourne CC success stories Marlon Samuels and Carlton Baugh.
But after dominating club cricket in Kingston for years, things have taken a turn for the worse in the new Millenium.
"it's still a pretty good club but the membership has dwindled and we're trying to revive the club and get it back to it's former standing" Holding explained.
Secretary Dennis Gordon added. "The truth is the standard of club cricket in Jamaica has dropped - it was much better in the 70s, 80s and 90s. This is a great club, we won the local competition for 7 years in a row, but we are in a slump and trying to rebuild. It costs a pretty penny to run- 5m Jamaican dollars (around £40.000 ) annually - and it's a real challenge but something we are determined to do is to keep it's rich history alive"
More than that says Holding, clubs like Melbourne need to thrive for the West Indies to re-emerge as a force in world cricket. the problem with our cricket is we need to put the infrastucture and systems in place so the game is readily acceptable to youngsters and we can get them playing from the grassroots right up to the international level. The fact of the matter is we don't have enough young people playing so don't have competition and not enough people are fighting for places"
My visit coincided with a friendly game between the club and Dublin team Terenure College Taverners.
Walsh, now President of the club where he spent his formative years, played alongside Baugh and Marlon Samuels' brother Robert and appears to relish the role of ambassador.
"This is a wonderful club and never in our wildest dreams would we have expected to face some of these players" Terenure coach Philip Whelan said.
" The hospitality and respect that they have shown to a team of nobodies has been tremendous"
When the match finished, Walsh, Holding, and two more Windies legends - Lawrence Rowe and Sir Viv Richards - posed for pictures with the visitors , played dominoes with members and mingled with the youngsters.
It's a scene you are unlikely to see anywhere else in the world, and is one of the many reasons why it really is an unique place.
Courtesy of BBC Sport and Paresh Soni Kingston Jamaica 17/03/2007
Content copyright 2015. walnut taverners. All rights reserved.
15.07.2016
Home to North Kildare Taverners. Lost. Despite courageous displays of batting and bowling from The Spinner (MOM) we lost this competitive and enjoyable match against good opposition. Paddy Pad Up made a good catch and Yours truly dropped an easy one. Our Captain performed with Bat and Ball and God Bless The Mark had some good hits. The Doc ran around and George with The Crone Ranger stood well.
12.08.16
Home to RTE. Listless match played in a passive style. Lost to a mediocre outfit who brought nothing to the party (again). We will have to take a hard look at the fixtures list for next year. Thanks to Paul Mor and Rossa for turning out at short notice. Must mention Paddy Pad Up who performed Mighty at Wicket Keeper.
3.06.16
Lost to a very amicable Fitzwilliam side. Paddy PadUp and The Powerball opened for us. Whilst The Powerball executed some sublime shots PadUp stoically stood his ground and waited for the bad ball. He saw off Cyril and Papa Powerball and still refused to budge. Eventually he was surgically removed when Tee Dee cleverly mimicked the call of The Lady Gramarten. What a lovely evening. P.S. George was late due to an underpants problem with static electricity.
17.06.16
Walnuts arrived not knowing how many players would turn up but surprise George Cree was waiting with kit Bag but in the end a full team thanks to Stephen Brennan, Paul and Doc Paddy (another Marys recruit). Eddie took on his familiar role as Captain. Our Openers were Mick and Paul who ranked up the runs. Our innings had it's Highs and lows but managed a reasonable 112. As CYM fielded 3 under 15 lads who were well able to hit our best bowlers all over the pitch with some help from regular CYM taverners clawed their way towards The Walnuts 112 and the last 2 overs we gave to newcomer Mark Kennedy the task of deigning any runs thus CYM only scored 1 off his 2 overs and game ended in a Tie. A copy of the score book stated a Tie but an eagle eyed Walnutter spotted a tot error in our total. This was brought to the attention of our Captain Eddie and he confirmed that the game ended in a TIE. MOM Mark Kennedy.
13.12.2016
Name:Stumpy
Subject:Tour Report
Message:Thanks G/Man for a terrific commentary on our most recent tour. I would completely echo your sentiments on the work done by Pykie in getting us all safely out and back. Roll on the next one!
13/05/16
Malahide away and lost to a superior outfit. We put up 106 runs after 15 x 8 ball over efforts. they replied with quite a few maximums and won within their allotted overs. 2 Champagne moments. Spasimodo's catch and his Man U celebrations and George's complete indifference to the ball that time forgot!
8.07.16
Home to Merrion Taverners. Played a game Merrion side including P Devi and Tom (the Leg). We scored poorly in the top order, The Middle Order and The Lower Order. We had 2 exceptions to this. Spinner and Coxsy. Well done exceptions. We hope for better things next week. P.S. Tom (The Leg) caused much amusement and consternation to all present on his execution of run outs, Feng Sui, Musical chairs and Hari Kari.
22.07.16
Home to Leinster CC Tavs. Won. MOM The Crone Ranger. Played a true Tavs side on Friday and won a most enjoyable game.
Notable mentions for Spinner (who kept them in the game) Creaser (3 superb fours) Ryanair (our only 6) and of course The Crone Ranger whose steady hand at the end guided us home. He explained to the gathered Media after the match that his bowling style was developed by Fr. Heggo and perfected by Fr. Grace in Bushy Park. HAPPY DAYS!
MATCH REPORTS 2016
Sept 2016 Walnut Taverners Tour to Croatia
Sept14th - 19th
Regular tourists amongst The Walnut Taverners have long realized that the measure of a successful tour is not dependant on results.
The success of a Walnuts tour is defined by the friendships made, and the friendships renewed. The trip to Croatia was no different. Some were on their first tour, some had been on every tour, but all nineteen tourists would happily sit beside, share a drink or room with anyone else in the group.
The time spent between Split and Vis produced a number of off pitch highlights, not to mention plenty of opportunity for late night hi-jinks. The Radisson in Split provided elegance, comfort, and facilities to relax and unwind. The Hotel Issa in Vis had a leaking roof, no windows and an insight into life in Communist Eastern Europe and while there were some great evenings in The Bejbi bar and other establishments along the shore in Vis, and some long nights around the various hostelries around the old town of Split the highlight
(from any perspective - food, drink or social) was the night in Roki's vineyard after our first game. Dining on slow cooked stews, cooked under traditional metal domes, and accompanied by Roki's own wines, both teams had a memorable night getting to know each other off the field.
On the playing field, the Walnut Taverners ethos of inclusion and equality meant that everyone got to bat and everyone who wanted to bowl got to bowl. That egalitarian contribution from everyone is another great success measure for any Walnut's trip and led to a range of playing highlights, including great innings from Sean and Eric, a super bowling spell from Tom Donoghue, a smart catch from Henry and a well taken four by Gerry.
Our first match was a 35 over game. We won the toss and batted first. Trevor and Ciaran opened and were ticking along nicely when Trevor was unluckily out ending their partnership on 15. A devastating bowling spell by a partnership of Madic and Istok ripped through our top and middle order and we were precariously placed at 56/8. A strong performance by the tail saw us finish on 97 all out from 32 overs. After a fantastic lunch in Roki's we returned to the field. A couple of early wickets applied some pressure and our hosts were 4/2. They steadied the ship and we did not get another breakthrough until the tenth over. Two wickets for Tom Donoghue brought them to 48/4. We continued to chip away with wickets but could not prevent them from accumulating runs and they chased down our total in the 21st over, finishing on 98/7. They had a few lucky escapes along the way and another wicket early on would have made it a very interesting finish but we have no complaints and were beaten by the better team.
Our second match was a 20/20 game. We won the toss and batted first. Sean McGinn and Eric Rankin put on one of the all-time great Walnuts opening partnerships scoring 80 together before we lost our first wicket. That was the bulk of our runs as again Istok proved to be our nemesis taking a couple of our wickets and halting our momentum. We reached the end of our 20 overs on 104/3.
Some swashbuckling batting in response from Lenko, Istok and Damir saw Hoste CC chase down our total in the 16th over. Our second game was followed by our traditional Tour Court - a number of punitive punishments were handed down, ably presided over by Judge Markham.
Cricket is a game that can be described, and defined, purely by statistics although there are also a number of data points related to off-field activities that can also tell a compelling story about the trip:
Number of "accidental " trips to the ladies convenience: 1
Frequency of Nocturnal swimming expeditions: Nightly
Number of on-field fainting spells due to hot flushes: 1
Number of unscheduled coach stops: 2
Number of cucumber, celery and apple juices consumed on a night out: 1
Number of matches we might have won if more people had drank cucumber, celery and apple juices on a night out: Unknown
Number of bottles of wine consumed: Unquantifiable
A big thanks to Steven and all involved in William Hoste CC for playing both games in the right spirit, and giving us two really enjoyable matches and a Huge thanks to Roki for being such a fantastic host.
As always it is a testament to the dedication, hard work and organisation of Philip Whelan that these tours are so successful.
Particularly so in the case of this trip that involved planes, coaches, boats and 3 separate hotel check ins. Philip is ably supported by Sean McGinn, his field lieutenant - The Paulie Walnuts to Philip's Tony Soprano.
Graham
6/05/16
Marian up First down in CYM grounds in Terenure. These guys are far too strong for us and beat us at a canter. They bowled and Batted down to number 11. Lose the fixture next year as NO enjoyment to be had. We were rusty not having any pre season nets and it showed.
Roll on Malahide next week
01.07.16
Home to Arthur's Knight. Jaysus Wept! Spinner opened the bowling with The George and they kept it tight (George of course kept it loose but in a tight fashion). The Crone Ranger took wickets through guile, extreme unction and vulcanisation on his runners. Knights all out 62. Spinner and The Catcher first up to open and all they opened was the Heavens. 14 runs and nature took it's course. creaser and Nailer next a maximum and 2.Then Stumpy and The Howth Warbler and the winning runs attained. Well done to all. Mary and Monica provide Sausages and Sambo's. Thanks Girls.
26.08.2016
The Pop Sparks Match V CYM. we won a very enjoyable match against a surprised CYM side. Our Plate is BACK! Our batting (98) was measured and calculated but our bowling was the winner (No Wides and only 1 No Ball). The Spinner and Son. The Builder. All paved the way to our fine victory. The Captain took a catch on the run and George was transfixed (80) Not Out and what a (Leg)end. Well done ALL.
27/05/16
Away to Parkmore in Kenilworth Square. Lost a closely contested match. Squirrel and Paddy the Bulge were outstanding performers on the night. Devo the Younger and Liamo hit maximums. George reminisced over old times that he had forgotten and Mowldsy regailed us with a few shady but interesting encounters.
29.07.2016
Away to Trinity Theatricals ( Cavaliers ). LOST. Played against a good side who had just returned from a tour on Jersey. We batted first and Badly! Creaser and P Daddy were the pick of our performers. Our bowling was infantile and shorn of any guile or menace! We were well beaten. We HOPE for a vast improvement next week?
24.06.16
Away to Evening Herald at High School. Someone else suffers defeat at last. Lifer hit the winning runs. Creaser. Coxsy. P daddy scored Maximums. paddy Pad Up umpired. Doyler as is his wont tried to run Lifer out ( Jesus. €20 for a bottle of wine ) but man of the match went to the magic arm of The Crone Ranger. Superb display of control and clever use of the fingers. PS Spinner. We WONNNNNN!!
OUR SCRIBE / MATCH REPORTER MISLAID HIS PEN BETWEEN THE YEARS 2010 TO 2014..................................
LEAVING SPLIT HARBOUR FOR VIS ISLAND
Georgie Cree's Left Leg
Of all the Fabled Characters that cricket's ever seen,
We are privileged to have produced a cricketer supreme.
From Knocklyon he does travel, we didn't have to beg,
I speak of course of the Tour de Force,
That is George Cree's left leg.
It turns out every Summer, in rain or hail or shine.
The Ankle at the ready to block all in it's line.
It knows no fear though balls career, the Batsman it does egg,
I am still here and at them jeer does Georgie Cree's left leg.
When our History is written of matches won or lost,
When our old limbs are creaking, and our bodies turned and tossed,
There is but one that stood and shone, no backward step did take.
That hardy buck didn't give a f-ck, Georgie Cree's Left Leg.
Stumpy.
13.12.2016
Name:Creaser
Subject: Tour Report
Message:Never Panic Capt Mannering.
OUR LEGEND MR. GEORGE ( LEFT LEG / TURN LEFT) CREE ACCEPTING HIS HONORARY LIFE MEMBERSHIP
WALNUT TAVERNERS TOURISTS TO PLAY AGAINST SIR WILLIAM HOSTE CC ON THE ISLAND OF VIS CROATIA
Graham Whelan. Capt. Tom Donoghue. Ciaran Casserly. Henry McCourt. Cyril Crone. Paddy Bulger. Sean McGinn. Tom Markham.
Brian Corrigan. Trevor Dunne. Eric Rankin. Mike Grainger. David Mowlds. Gerry Ebbs. Ronan Kennedy. Rob Byrne. George Cree.
David O'Meara. Philip Whelan.
10.06.16
Dreadful wet late afternoon and evening so match called off at 6. We tried our best to play the fixture and The Gravediggers were super to drive over but had to cancel at the last minute around 6'ish. What a Pity.